Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
