I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
