I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
