Dual....:-)
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
