I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
