So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
