New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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