Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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