for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
