Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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