Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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