im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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