i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
