I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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