We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
