I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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