I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
