no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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