So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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