She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
