Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
