Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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