you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
