her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
