no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
