You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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