we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
