we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize