hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
