youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
