best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize