HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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