Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
