When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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