He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I've blown a few things in my day
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
