she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize