So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
