Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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