shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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