can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
