Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
