Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
