i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
