girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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