well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
