I seem to have left my pride at pride
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
