omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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