She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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