it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
