And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Randomize
