NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
