I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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