This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
