at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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