i just wanna soil my oats bro
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i was born a porn star she said
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
