What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
