Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I deserve to be covered in dicks
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
