i was rollin on her like bob the builder
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
