It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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