Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
