she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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