Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
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