Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
