I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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