Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
