how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
